Let’s face it – life can be tough. It’s not a bed of roses and I doubt anyone is happy all the time. Things happen which cause people to be sad.
No doubt you’ve had your share of sadness – relationship breakups, family deaths, losing a friend, losing a job.
Another thing that can cause one to feel sad and hopeless is when your dream seems impossible or whatever you set out to achieve ends up failing.
Then life becomes a chore with nothing to look forward to – just the same old routine, over and over.
But it’s OK to feel unhappy, sad, apathetic, hopeless!!
These are natural feelings as a response to what’s happening in your life. This should not be classed as a “mental illness”.
Sometimes the sadness is fleeting and sometimes it seems to go on and on and you think there’s no end to it. This still doesn’t mean it’s an “illness”. You are experiencing feelings. You are reacting to the circumstances that you are faced with.
When my mother died I spent at least a month in a total fog. I felt sad, distracted and couldn’t concentrate. I would start crying at random moments and didn’t feel like socialising at all. Being self-employed I needed to continue working but it was very much through this haze.
Thankfully I’m trained and experienced on the subject of the mind. I know the effect the subconscious/reactive mind can have and how this contributes to long term feelings of sadness, depression, anxiety and a host of other feelings.
A long time ago I read a book which describes the unconscious/subconscious mind as being the source of a person’s unwanted emotions, fears, anxieties and depression. Using the therapy contained in the book a person is able to release emotional stress and thereby become less affected by things that happen in life.
As a result of reading this book and other studies about the mind, I was able to do something about it. I received some grief counselling which helped me to deal with the sadness. I still missed her but it meant I didn’t keep crying and was able to remember the good times we had. My outlook changed from a negative one to a much more positive one.
Apart from the counselling I also did the following
- I went for a daily walk. This wasn’t just a walk for the sake of exercise but a walk in order to get my attention out. Often within a few minutes of setting out I would be in tears but if I kept walking the tears would stop and I could look around me and take in the environment instead of my attention being stuck on the loss
- I took vitamins especially B vitamins. Vitamin B1 is especially good when experiencing a traumatic experience and it’s the lack of B1 that can make one feel depressed. I also took Calcium and Magnesium supplements as this helps to relax you
- I kept busy with work and when not working, cleaned and tidied up. There’s something about using your hands that helps to get your attention off of mental trauma and onto the task at hand
- I spent time with my (grown-up) children. We reminisced about their grandmother which cheered me up
- I did my best to get a good nights sleep, not always easy in this kind of circumstance. I used the tips detailed in the article What to do When You Can’t Sleep? which helped
So I hope you can take something from this and help yourself. If you go to a doctor or psychiatrist it’s likely you’ll be “diagnosed” with depression. Remember – sadness, depression, anxiety are all feelings. They are caused by something that’s happened to you so rather than cover it up with a label and a pill, why not find out what exactly is causing it?
Check out the book I mentioned and learn about your reactive mind and learn how to control your reactive mind.
You might also be interested in the article Before reaching for antidepressants.