One of the biggest issues with self-confidence, which is so important if you want to succeed at anything, is the “inner critic”.
We are living in a world that requires promotion of yourself and/or your business. It requires you to offer a good service or create a good product – and then have the confidence to “boast” about your products/services.
I’m not talking about taking selfies and posting them on Instagram or Facebook for no reason. Yes, promotion of yourself can include pictures but it’s more putting yourself out there and saying something about who you are and what you’re doing.
What is the Inner Critic?
The inner critic is YOU!
YOU criticising yourself.
YOU doubting yourself and your abilities.
What do you think is the difference between someone who feels insecure and lacks the confidence to put themselves out there and promote themselves/their business, and someone who seems full of confidence?
In my view there are 2 differences:
1. They don’t criticise themselves. Their inner-critic is quiet. They validate their good points and work on creating more of those good points. They are confident in their abilities. Their positivity about themselves is high. Maybe they weren’t always like that but they built up to being that way.
2. They don’t actually feel confident within themselves but they put on a great front – fake it till you make it!
Examples of the Inner Critic
“My service isn’t as good as company X”.
“I couldn’t possibly stand up and talk about my products.”
“I look really bad in photos”.
“I’m not sure I know what I’m going.”
“I’m not good enough at….”
“I’m not pretty so I don’t want my photo taken.”
“I’m too fat…”
And the comments go on.
Criticising Others
The inner critic doesn’t just criticise self, it criticises others.
Have you ever found yourself watching someone giving a presentation or looking at a photo of a person on social media and thinking to yourself – “they’re not very confident” or “that lipstick doesn’t suit their colouring” or “they need a haircut”.
That inner critic also needs to be silenced.
Concentrate of the Positive
Instead of finding all the things that are wrong with yourself or noticing the things that are wrong with others, look for the positive.
What is it about yourself that is good?
What are your strengths?
What is it about someone else that is good?
What are their strengths?
If you concentrate on the positive you will get positive things happening in your life. If you concentrate on the negative then that’s all you’ll get.
Positivity breeds positivity!
This applies to yourself. Take a look in the mirror and find something that is good. Maybe your hair is looking particularly good today, or your chin is a nice shape, your eyeshadow looks just right!
Whatever it is make a note. And no paying attention to any negatives. The more positive you are the more positive you will become.
Say to yourself “I’m looking pretty good today” or “I look great today” or “I feel great”.
It’s OK to admire yourself. And you don’t just have to admire the physical – there’s the spiritual aspect of you, your feelings about things. When you admire yourself you’ll likely find that you admire others and others admire you.
As I said positivity breeds positivity. So now, look at someone else or listen to someone else and make a note of something positive about them. They’re saying something interesting; they’re wearing a funny t-shirt; they look happy.
Spread your positivity to them. And if you’re actually face to face with someone then say it out loud. People love to be admired, it makes them feel good! And if you make a point to say something admirable about them it will help increase their self-esteem.
Are you ready to silence that inner critic?