Part of self-care is doing things that improve your self-confidence. In this video I talk all about self-confidence.
Below the video you’ll see a transcript plus at the end, there’s a free download for you to help you with your self-care and self-love!
First, before we go any further, let’s establish something
IT’S OK TO APPRECIATE YOURSELF
IT’S OK TO LOVE YOURSELF
Good. Now we’ve got that out of the way we can talk about self-confidence and self-esteem.
In certain cultures and societies, it’s considered selfish to appreciate yourself. People have an “excuse me” or “pardon me for being there” type attitude.
Has someone ever bumped into you and you’ve said “sorry”, when it was totally their fault? I know. It’s polite and I do it too!
Self-love and self-appreciation are very much related to self-confidence. If your opinion of yourself is low then how can you project a “confident” you?
The opposite would be a you that totally appreciates yourself, you love yourself. How do you think that projects to another?
Can you remember a time when your self-confidence was high?
You knew what you could do?
You had confidence in your dreams?
Maybe it was when you first left college or maybe it was as long ago as you were a 6 year-old playing dress-up and telling your dolls what to do.
And do you remember when you first doubted yourself?
When you told others you didn’t have confidence to do something?
Seeking Approval From Others
Something that affects our confidence is seeking approval from others. If you’re totally confident in yourself why would you need approval from someone else?
You know, you’re out shopping with your partner and you try on a dress. You ask them if they like it and want their approval. If you were totally confident in yourself and your decisions you wouldn’t ask – you would just buy it!
In this modern-day social media-driven society, people are often asking for approval.
How many likes did my Instagram post get?
Why didn’t anyone like my Facebook post?
And then there are those people who go over the top with selfies, dressing themselves up, tons of makeup on until they look nothing like their true selves.
Another factor that affects self-confidence is when you’ve been judged by another. They’ve said something to you that made you feel less confident. These remarks can be subtle and you might not even notice but nevertheless, they make you feel slightly less confident.
“Are you sure you want to go out looking like that?” When you spent an hour getting ready.
“Wouldn’t your hair look better if it was tied back?” After you’d been to the hairdresser and had it styled differently
“I like your painting but don’t you think it would be better if….?” You spent a week creating some artwork and felt proud of the result.
Get the idea?
Can you think of some examples where this happened to you?
Did it make you feel less confident?
Self Confidence and Mindset
Mindset has a lot to do with confidence.
When you were younger you were more likely to put forth the idea that you were a certain way and you had the confidence to carry this off. You had dreams.
As you got older and things didn’t go quite that way you dreamed less and less.
It starts in the mind.
And we are back to the beginning: What do you think about yourself?
Competence affects Self Confidence
When you’re really good at something have you noticed how that affects your confidence?
Let’s say you’re a hairdresser and you know all about cutting hair. You feel confident that you’re going to do a good job right? What about if you had to dye someone’s hair but you weren’t trained in that but you did it anyway. How confident would you feel?
Think of an example where you know how to do something and how that relates to your self-confidence.
How to improve Self Confidence?
1. The first step is to BELIEVE IN YOURSELF, APPRECIATE YOURSELF, LOVE YOURSELF.
This can be done using positive affirmations. Here are a few examples but you can make up your own.
I am confident
I am happy within myself
My abilities are high
My dreams are worthwhile
For more on positive affirmations read this article.
2. Actively appreciate yourself and acknowledge the “wins” in your life.
Every day I look in the mirror and I say to myself, “hello beautiful”. It’s amazingly powerful.
Try it yourself. In fact, stop right now, stand in front of a mirror and say “hello beautiful” – say it out loud if you like!
The trick is to do it at least once a day – maybe even every time you visit the loo!
3. Stop criticising yourself to yourself
We all do it:
“OMG, look at the bags under my eyes.”
“I look like crap today”
“I’m so fat, I need to lose weight”.
DON’T DO IT!! It does so much harm to your self-respect. You need to RESPECT yourself, not disrespect yourself.
Instead, notice something positive:
“Oh, my eyes look good today”
“I’m having a good hair-day today”
“My skin is really soft”
4. Become more competent.
If you don’t feel confident in what you do then do some courses so you get better at it.
When you start a new job you might not know everything there is to know to start with and so you might not feel that confident. But as you get trained and you ask for help your confidence will soon grow.
5. Dream your dreams!
When you were younger you had dreams. Maybe you even have dreams now but they’re sitting there on the back shelf!
Dig them out and dust them off.
They are YOUR dreams and you deserve to have them.
It doesn’t matter if someone else thinks that wrong or impossible to achieve – set them down on paper and start visualising the outcome and how it will be when you’ve achieved those dreams.
Free Download
Here are THREE downloads to help you with self-care and self-confidence:
Practice Self Love with Journalling
10 Ways to Practice Self-Care
Healthy Journey Journal
Just fill in the form below to get your downloads.